Two Thoughts & A Cudgel

There are only two thoughts that have ever had any real say about anything inside my head. One is that I can do and be anything I want. The other is a gang of rabid doubts that quickly rush in and bludgeon the first thought to death with the cudgel of reality.

Even in writing this my mind works in fits and starts, alternating between slamming its foot on the gas and then slamming both feet on the brakes. Faith is locked in a duel to the death with doubt, fighting the epic battle where in all ideas, all dreams, all hopes, live or die.

In the beginning was the word, but in the end there's simply nothing to say and no one to listen. Life is slowly emptied of its magic, until there is simply a walking talking corpse where once life used to be. Welcome to the American dream, where window shopping is the height of aspiration, and a person's worth is determined exclusively by what they can buy.

Churches placate our suspicion that we are nothing but greedy consumers who are manipulated everywhere to spend more than we earn,   not only because we are forced to project a greater image of success than we have achieved in order to ever achieve ever greater success, but because the wealth of the few only grows in proportion to the amount of debt that it can leverage upon the many.

But so what?

The point is that there is no escape from a reality that is slowly swallowing us all, into the pockets of those who would spend the lives of children with all the carefree folly of children casting pennies in a wishing well.